Mom Must Pay $195,000 in Fees for Custody Battle in Fulton County

Greg Land

Daily Report

2014-01-02 00:00:13.0

The judge overseeing a child-custody battle that brought demonstrators to the Fulton County Courthouse twice this year in support of the mother has made a permanent his decision to keep the 11-year-old child at issue in the father's custody.

Judge John Goger of Fulton Superior Court also ordered the mother to pay $195,513 in attorney fees for pursuing child-abuse allegations against her ex-husband that the judge deemed not credible.



The rest of the article may be found at http://www.dailyreportonline.com/PubArticleFriendlyDRO.jsp?id=1202635308078.

Although this was not our case, we appear in front of this judge recently.  In a case that had similarities to this one, the judge kept custody with my client, the father, and ordered the mother to pay $12,000 in attorney's fees.   The court is sending a clear message about litigants who attempt to abuse the process.

Usher wins custody of sons.

Today, a court in Fulton County awarded Usher Raymond custody of his two young sons.  Although numerous media outlets reported on the more sensational aspects of the case and revelations during the case, we cannot speculate as to all the evidence the judge heard.   The judge considers many factors in arriving at the difficult decision to switch custody.  What this case does tell us, though, is that given the right set of circumstances, fathers DO have rights to custody and can win, even when the mother is fit.

Regina

Facebook is divorce lawyers' new best friend

Facebook is divorce lawyers' new best friend
Whatever you share online can (and will) be used against you in court

by Leanne Italie

Forgot to de-friend your wife on Facebook while posting vacation shots of your mistress? Her divorce lawyer will be thrilled.

Oversharing on social networks has led to an overabundance of evidence in divorce cases. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81 percent of its members have used or faced evidence plucked from Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other social networking sites, including YouTube and LinkedIn, over the last five years.

"Oh, I've had some fun ones," said Linda Lea Viken, president-elect of the 1,600-member group. "It's very, very common in my new cases."

Facebook is the unrivaled leader for turning virtual reality into real-life divorce drama, Viken said. Sixty-six percent of the lawyers surveyed cited Facebook foibles as the source of online evidence, she said. MySpace followed with 15 percent, followed by Twitter at 5 percent.

About one in five adults uses Facebook for flirting, according to a 2008 report by the Pew Internet and American Life Project. But it's not just kissy pix with the manstress or mistress that show up as evidence. Think of Dad forcing son to de-friend mom, bolstering her alienation of affection claim against him.

"This sort of evidence has gone from nothing to a large percentage of my cases coming in, and it's pretty darn easy," Viken said. "It's like, 'Are you kidding me?'"

Neither Viken, in Rapid City, S.D., nor other divorce attorneys would besmirch the attorney-client privilege by revealing the identities of clients, but they spoke in broad terms about some of the goofs they've encountered:

— Husband goes on Match.com and declares his single, childless status while seeking primary custody of said nonexistent children.
— Husband denies anger management issues but posts on Facebook in his "write something about yourself" section: "If you have the balls to get in my face, I'll kick your ass into submission."
— Father seeks custody of the kids, claiming (among other things) that his ex-wife never attends the events of their young ones. Subpoenaed evidence from the gaming site World of Warcraft tracks her there with her boyfriend at the precise time she was supposed to be out with the children. Mom loves Facebook's Farmville, too, at all the wrong times.


— Mom denies in court that she smokes marijuana but posts partying, pot-smoking photos of herself on Facebook.

The disconnect between real life and online is hardly unique to partners de-coupling in the United States. A DIY divorce site in the United Kingdom, Divorce-Online, reported the word "Facebook" appeared late last year in about one in five of the petitions it was handling. (The company's caseload now amounts to about 7,000.)

Divorce attorneys Ken and Leslie Matthews, a husband and wife team in Denver, Colo., don't see quite as many online gems. They estimated 1 in 10 of their cases involves such evidence, compared to a rare case or no cases at all in each of the last three years. Regardless, it's powerful evidence to plunk down before a judge, they said.

"You're finding information that you just never get in the normal discovery process — ever," Leslie Matthews said. "People are just blabbing things all over Facebook. People don't yet quite connect what they're saying in their divorce cases is completely different from what they're saying on Facebook. It doesn't even occur to them that they'd be found out."

Social networks are also ripe for divorce-related hate and smear campaigns among battling spousal camps, sometimes spawning legal cases of their own.
"It's all pretty good evidence," Viken said. "You can't really fake a page off of Facebook. The judges don't really have any problems letting it in."

The attorneys offer these tips for making sure your out-loud personal life online doesn't wind up in divorce court:

What you say can and will be held against you
If you plan on lying under oath, don't load up social networks with evidence to the contrary.

"We tell our clients when they come in, 'I want to see your Facebook page. I want you to remember that the judge can read that stuff so never write anything you don't want the judge to hear,'" Viken said.

Beware your frenemies
Going through a divorce is about as emotional as it gets for many couples. The desire to talk trash is great, but so is the pull for friends to take sides.

"They think these people can help get them through it," said Marlene Eskind Moses, a family law expert in Nashville, Tenn., and current president of the elite academy of divorce attorneys. "It's the worst possible time to share your feelings online."


A picture may be worth ... big bucks
Grown-ups on a good day should know better than to post boozy, carousing or sexually explicit photos of themselves online, but in the middle of a contentious divorce? Ken Matthews recalls photos of a client's partially naked estranged wife alongside pictures of their kids on Facebook.

"He was hearing bizarre stories from his kids. Guys around the house all the time. Men running in and out. And there were these pictures," Matthews said.

Privacy, privacy, privacy

They're called privacy settings for a reason. Find them. Get to know them. Use them. Keep up when Facebook decides to change them.

Viken tells a familiar story: A client accused her spouse of adultery and he denied it in court. "The guy testified he didn't have a relationship with this woman. They were just friends. The girlfriend hadn't put security on her page and there they were. 'Gee judge, who lied to you?'"

Mr. Moms become more common

Mr. Moms become more common
By Lauren Russell, CNN
June 20, 2010 7:48 a.m. EDT

Atlanta, Georgia (CNN) -- Atlanta radio personality Jimmy Baron describes the events that left him unemployed as a perfect storm. In 2006, the radio station where he had worked for 13 years was bought and the new owner cut his pay by 60 percent.

He quit and began looking for work. A few offers came in, but not what he was looking for. Then, the nation's economy tanked, and -- for the next three years -- all the offers dried up.

Baron describes that period as horrendous, emasculating, one of the worst of his life.

Finally, late last year, he got the offer he was looking for as a morning DJ at a classic rock station in Atlanta. But on his first day back in the workforce, he realized there was a downside to the new job -- he hadn't been in the house when his son woke up, and he missed his old role of Mr. Mom.

While unemployed, Baron and his wife, who worked from home, had been equal caregivers.

"You get to know a child on a completely different level," he said about the hours he spent each day with 3-year-old Micah.

As women's pay has approached -- and sometimes exceeded -- that of men, Mr. Moms lounging at the playground are becoming more common.

Fathers are the primary caregivers for about a quarter of the nation's 11.2 million preschoolers whose mothers work, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that 8.6 million men were unemployed in May, 34 percent more than the 6.4 million women. The Great Depression was the last time men's unemployment figures were that much higher than those for women, said Stephanie Coontz, the director of research and public education for the Council on Contemporary Families. The Chicago, Illinois-based organization describes itself as a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization dedicated to providing the press and public with the latest research and best-practice findings about American families.

And during the 1930s, when housework was considered women's work by many, even unemployed men tended to be less involved in homemaking and child care, she said.

But early data suggest that men aren't rejecting homemaking at the same rates in this downturn, she said.

And some men are leaving the work force by choice. An estimated 158,000 married fathers with children younger than 15 left the labor force for at least a year to care for their family while their wives went to work, according to a Census Bureau report based on data from last year.

But a father being at home more -- whether by choice or, like Baron, because he has no alternative -- can be a hard thing for the man as well as the outside world to accept. Neighbors wonder when the man will quit babysitting and get a real job, and teachers still address childrearing concerns to the woman, Coontz said. Finally, women tend to have a hard time viewing their husbands as equals and not just assistants in the home, she said.

"It's because we have had, for 150 years, emphasis on men as experts, as breadwinners, and women as experts on nurturing," Coontz said.

During his three years off the job, Baron said, he found it difficult to answer the inevitable question, "So, what do you do?" in social situations. He also found it difficult to get used to being the only man when he and Micah joined his friends at at the pool or park.

During one of those long afternoons, he vowed that he would help other Mr. Moms when he returned to a job. Recently, he launched monthly "Dads between Gigs" get-togethers for care-giving dads and their children.

"Regardless of how dads end up in the situation of being caregiver, whether they choose it or not, it's still kind of a mom's world taking care of kids all day," Baron said. The events are a good way for men to get their needed guy time, he said.

Coontz said that a father becoming more involved with his children is a positive thing for everyone involved.

"Boys are more empathetic, and girls grow up more confident in their ability to tackle nonstereotype fields, like math or science," Coontz said about children with involved dads.

The best family dynamics develop when a wife and husband share the roles of caregiver and breadwinner, Coontz said. Partners who share responsibilities tend to have more stable marriages than do parents who play exclusive roles, she said.

It's healthy for both partners to have a life in and out of the house, and it's good for the children to see that as well, she said.

Coontz said men may want to consider another incentive in deciding whether to lend a hand with the laundry: Women tend to feel more intimate when their partners are involved with childcare and housework.

10 tips for fathers going through a divorce

This is the 1st part of a ten-week series giving fathers advice on how to best manage their divorce cases.

Tip #10. Get a memory

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. ~From the television show The Wonder Years

I can't tell you how many men who are in my office for divorce consultations who look like a deer caught in headlights when I ask them their date of marriage or their children's birthdates. At the risk of stereotyping, women tend to be much better at knowing this information off the top of their heads. They know their children's birthdays, their social security numbers, teacher's names, principal's name, daycare worker's name, the pediatrician's name...you get the point.

Men, for some reason tend not to know this information. Referring to your son's teacher as "the cute blonde" will not win you any points in court. How do you expect to win primary or joint custody if you do not learn and retain this valuable information? Do you know your child's favorite toy, or did you always let your wife pack the to go bag? Do you know your children's favorite foods or the only way to stop your 2 year old from crying incessantly in the car is to give her Apple Cinnamon Cheerios?  An involved dad knows these things.

Keep a journal if you have to of important dates, events and tidbits about your children. This will help you refresh your recollection later if you have to testify in court.

Facebook, MySpace and Twitter Evidence in Custody Battles and Divorce

In this new age of technology, watch what you put on the web. Did you friend your soon-to-be ex wife's aunt and forget about it because she never posts? If so, then you can be guaranteed she will be gleefully printing pictures and posts on your page and handing them to her attorney for evidence against you. Did you playfully suggest on Facebook that you want to "leave the kids at home and get smashed tonight?" Then, be prepared for it to turn up as Exhibit A at your trial.

Edwards & Associates recently won custody for a father at trial. Included as primary exhibits were her Facebook and Myspace pages. Of particular interest were several scantily clad pictures of the young mother of 4, and posting of her announcing that she "goes to the club too much" and that she "was drinking IN THE CAR on the way to the club." She turned bright red and said that was her personal business. The Court did not agree and stripped her of custody and ordered her to pay child support. Here is a great recent article printed in the AJC.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Facebook a treasure trove for divorce lawyers

By Larry Hartstein

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
9:55 a.m. Thursday, February 11, 2010

As if divorce lawyers needed more ammunition.

In a new survey, 81 percent say they've seen an increase in the use of Facebook and other social networking sites for evidence in divorce cases. Notes to lovers, compromising photos -- Facebook provides a wealth of incriminating information.

"Every client I've seen in the last six months had a Facebook page," said Ken Altshuler, a longtime divorce lawyer from Portland, Maine, who is first vice president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. "And the first piece of advice I give them is to terminate their page immediately."

Sixty-six percent of the attorneys surveyed by the AAML called Facebook the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence, followed by MySpace (15 percent) and Twitter (5 percent).

"Going through a divorce always results in heightened levels of personal scrutiny," said Marlene Eskind Moses of Nashville, the group's president. "If you publicly post any contradictions to previously made statements and promises, an estranged spouse will certainly be one of the first people to notice and make use of that evidence."

Altshuler cited a couple cases in which Facebook proved key:

A woman was getting divorced from her alcoholic husband and seeking custody of their kids. The husband told the judge he had found God and hadn't had a drink in months, but Altshuler found a recent Facebook photo showing him "holding a beer in each hand with a joint in his mouth," the lawyer said.

Then there was the custody case in which his client's ex-wife claimed to be engaged. She was trying to show she'd provide a stable household for the kids.

But the same woman had posted on Facebook that she'd broken up with her abusive boyfriend and "if anybody had a rich friend to let her know," Altshuler said.

The ex-husband's friend gave him the posting; he was still Facebook friends with the ex-wife.

"People don't think about who has access to their Facebook page," Altshuler said. "A good attorney can have a field day with this information."

Top Ten Things Divorced Dads Need to Realize

by: Joel Schwartzberg

Top Ten Things Divorced Dads Need to Realize

It seems like a new celebrity father gets divorced every week. Recent divorced dads include Jon Gosselin, Robin Williams, Usher, Mel Gibson, Bradley Whitford, Edward Furlong, and Thomas Jane -- and those are just the famous ones. Roughly half of all American marriages end in divorce and some studies suggest 60% of those splits involve children.

But while there's abundant advice directing divorced fathers to avoid "screwing up" the kids, 2009-07-23-dads.jpgthere's little out there to help dads appreciate the big parenting opportunity -- yes, opportunity -- before them.

Below are, IMHO, the ten most important things divorced fathers should realize as they transition parentally from "Husband and Father" to "One-and-Only Dad":

1) You divorced your ex, not your kids

Many divorced dads disconnect from their kids when they separate from their ex-wives, but the divorce can actually be an opportunity to re-connect with your children -- this time on your own terms.

2) The only parenting expectations worth a damn are your own

Divorce freed you from not only your ex-wife's expectations, but those of your parents, her parents, Dr. Phil, and all those dads you see talking joyously about fatherhood on television. You're the expert when it comes to your kids. Create your own expectations and standards.

3) There's no such thing as a part-time dad

You're either a dad or you're not. Many divorced dads spend more time with their kids than fathers in intact families. But no matter how much time you spend with your children, if you commit to it regularly and responsibly, you're a dad. Period. Exclamation point.

4) You are not a babysitter

There's no need to constantly take your children on expensive adventures, shower them with gifts, or keep them perpetually entertained, as if filling a perceived hole in their happiness. They are just as happy to simply be with you as you are to be with them.

5) Your children have two homes...and two sets of rules

Your kids don't "visit" you; they live with you. They have one home with Mom and another with Dad. And if they can adapt themselves to different rules between home and school, they can do the same between home and home. The phrase "But Mom lets us" carries no weight in your home.

6) You have an "inner dad"

There's an "inner dad" inside you. He's the one who tells you when it's OK to let your son stay up late, when it's appropriate to be interrupted on the phone by a whining daughter, and whether a tense situation calls for stern rules or just an all-out, no-shoes family wrestling match. You'll get to know that inner dad gradually, moment by moment, and in the process become a more genuine dad -- the best kind of dad you can be.

7) Most kids can cope

Divorce doesn't necessarily mean therapy time for your kids. Studies show that many children cope well with divorce, especially if there's joint custody and the kids are encouraged to openly express their feelings and fears. When I got divorced, a quick internet search told me I was ruining both my and my children's lives. But it didn't go down like that -- in fact, I now feel like a better dad than I've ever been and I've stopped treating Google like my conscience.

8) You can do what you like

Too many moms and dads feel martyrdom is a necessary part of the parenting process. Find those things that you and your children honestly enjoy together -- going to the movies, having cart-races at Kmart, bowling, or impulsively getting pizza in the mid-afternoon. Your children love nothing more than watching you enjoy yourself with them. And it's way more fun than standing on the playground sidelines checking your Blackberry, isn't it?

9) Your issues with the ex don't belong in your kids' lives

Like the corn and mashed potatoes on your first-grader's plate, your parenting should be separated from any conflicts you have with your ex. Children need to know their parents' love is unconditional and impenetrable, even and especially in the face of something as potentially devastating as divorce.

10) You'll screw up...and that's okay.

Making mistakes is as fundamental in parenting as making dinner. Own up to them -- your kids will learn that they can too.


Joel Schwartzberg is a father of three, an award-winning essayist, and author of the first-of-its kind collection of personal essays from the perspective of a divorced father, "The 40-Year-Old Version: Humoirs of a Divorced Dad"

How To Win A Custody Case

Because of our tremendous success in the field of Georgia Father’s Rights, I am often asked what I do to “win” a difficult custody case.

The reality is, every successful attorney who wins fathers’ rights cases, simply manages the facts and presents the case to the judge. We argue positions that other attorneys are not willing to argue. However, the most important aspect of winning a fathers’ rights case is the client. There is no attorney in the world that can turn bad facts into a good case. If you left your wife, moved to another state, have not seen your children in years, and have not paid any child support in years, you will most likely not get custody.

On the other hand, if you have been involved in your children’s lives, and care more about the children than about hurting their mother, there is no reason for the court to assume that you are less of a candidate for a primary custodian than the mother.

The hardest cases to try are those where the father is as good of a parent as the mother. There is not really anything negative about either parent, and each wants custody. These are also the most difficult cases for judges to hear. How do they decide who should get custody? I attempt to “tell the story” of my client through collateral witness, through the children, through the use of the Guardian ad Litem, through neighbors, school counselors and other professionals who can attest to the benefit the children have had from having an involved father.

Another difficult case is where the father really is a better parent, but it is difficult to prove. The Mother may have been the stay-at-home primary caretaker, but she is not really doing a good job. The children still have all of their arms and legs, but they are not receiving the emotional nurturing and support they need. She feeds them fast food, although she does not work outside of the home. She sleeps all day, and does not keep up the house. Her days are spent sleeping, or attending tennis clinics or spa appointments, and the children are an afterthought. The Mother wants custody, but mostly because she needs the child support. These kinds of cases baffle my clients. They know they are the better parent, but they need help proving it. That is where an experienced attorney can make a difference.

The bottom line is - it really is an uphill battle for Fathers most of the time. I think this can be attributed to Fathers’ rights advocates who talk the talk but do not walk the walk. I recently represented a Mother, where the Father had been trying to reinstate his parenting rights after having been arrested 100 times, driving the 10 year old child around to buy drugs in hotel room, and abandoning the child at a bus stop and calling the mother to pick him up after he had left the child. The “Fathers’ Rights attorney” in his closing argument, eloquently stated how the presumption for fathers should be for joint custody, at which point, everyone in the courtroom rolled their eyes. That particular father was not exactly a cause the attorney should have gotten behind. It destroys credibility in the eyes of the court. Needless to say, that Father is still prohibited from seeing his child.

The only way to “win” a custody case is this: be a good father at all times, even when the mother makes it difficult. Spend quality time with your children. Help them with their homework, take them on educational experiences. Don’t be a Disneyland dad. If you are a good father, then others will see it. That way, when it is time to go to court, you will have no shortage of witnesses to testify about your exemplary parenting skills. That makes my job easier.

Single parents create happy new homes after divorce

Single parents create happy new homes after divorce

By H.M. CAULEY Atlanta Journal-Constitution Published on: 05/29/08

With the divorce rate hovering around 50 percent, it's no surprise that many of Stephanie Andrews' design clients find themselves starting over again. Unlike the recent grad who's just rented a new apartment or newlyweds moving into a starter home, the newly single often come with bits and pieces of their past to sort through, as well as a passion to put their own imprint on their surroundings quickly.

"There's so much psychology that goes into designing a home," said Andrews, owner of the Candler Park-based Balance Design. "Newly single people want to explore who they are and put that in their house. It's a chance for them to show their own personal style."
There's also something liberating about putting together a home without anyone else's approval. "They have full control and there's no need for compromise, which is very freeing for them," said Andrews. "They can have fun. About the only compromise they may have to make ends up being the cost."

For divorced parents, there's the additional desire to make a house a home very quickly for the children. And there are considerations such as where the family will spend time together. Where will the kids do their homework?
Here's a peek inside three Atlanta residences where single parents have put their own style on a new space.

Getting more for less in Doraville
Graphic designer Gabrielle LeBlanc's post-divorce budget made finding a new home in her 8-year-old's school district a challenge. But after 18 months in a Dunwoody apartment, she uncovered a 1960s brick ranch in Doraville that needed a bit of TLC."I knew I could make it work," she said.

LeBlanc ripped out carpeting and refinished the wood floors. She painted the trim and ceilings; installed new light fixtures; and added her own small details, such as replacing the wall switch covers. Her thriftiness extended to the furnishings. An inexpensive, three-tiered chandelier she found at IKEA got an upgrade when she added rows of crystals. A friend donated her kids' old crayon-covered art table that LeBlanc refinished to show off the wood. Instead of payment for a job, she traded her work for a futon. And she picked up some framed artworks for $1 at a yard sale.

LeBlanc scoured stores for decor deals and snagged several. A crescent-shaped table with repairable scratches was $90 at Ballard Designs. A low, glass-fronted buffet in the red dining room came from Crate and Barrel. A green suede sofa was a steal from World Market. Inexpensive cube shelving from IKEA created a storage unit for her son's toys.
LeBlanc warmed the house with personal items. Framed photos of New Orleans, her hometown, line the halls. A portrait of her grandmother, painted by her grandfather on their wedding day, graces her home office.
"I wanted a fresh slate," said LeBlanc. "And I liked being able to create my own space without having to ask anyone's permission."

Kids come first in Avondale Estates
Attorney Sheryl McCalla gave her real estate agent a short list of requirements when she went house shopping five years ago. She wanted to be close to her job in Midtown and near the intown school that her two children attend. Though the three-bedroom house in Avondale Estates wasn't an exact fit, McCalla knew it was a terrific place to start over after a divorce.
"I was looking for a family friendly house in a nice neighborhood," said McCalla. "Here, we can walk to the pool and playground and I have the support of other parents in the neighborhood."
The 1950s house had already undergone an extensive renovation, including the addition of a second floor and an open kitchen and family room. "That was key, because I wasn't in a position to do that kind of work," said McCalla.
In the large foyer, the base of the staircase leads to the second floor and into the family room as well. A former living room, with a fireplace, is now the red dining room. McCalla turned the old glass-enclosed porch into the art room, where her kids are free to paint on the walls, floors or windows as their creativity moves them.
The expanded kitchen has cherry cabinets and an island where the kids can do their homework while McCalla cooks. A corner eating area has a banquette for cozy seating. An adjacent small room holds all of the kids' toys and several musical instruments, while a former first-floor bedroom is now the TV room.
McCalla decorated her son's room with a space theme and had an artist paint her daughter's favorite flowers and garden scenes around her bed.
The move meant buying all new furniture. "The only things I had were a king-sized bed, two night stands, a dresser and an exercise bike," said McCalla. But she took her time tracking down the large wood dining table, with chairs and bench seating; a beige sofa and two chocolate chairs around the family room fireplace; and a round dining table in the breakfast nook.
The kids' artwork on various walls and framed playbills from New York shows that McCalla's parents collected are constant reminders of family connections.
"Simplicity was my goal," said McCalla. "But it was also important to make the house comfortable. And it had to feel like home."

At home at Dad's

Attorney Doug Kertscher started his search for a post-divorce house for his two young children by drawing a 10-mile circle around their primary residence. The perfect place turned up in the form of a 6-year-old house in Morningside.
"The house had been well-maintained, which was important because I work a lot of long hours, and I didn't want to have my children with me while I was fixing the roof," said Kertscher.
The three-story house came with enough open spaces for his children to run around and several areas that double as adult and kid areas. In the library, book shelves are lined with Dad's collection on the top rows; all of the kids' favorites are within their short reach below. A large rectangular ottoman opens to reveal a toy chest.
Kertscher was also insistent that the bedrooms be on the same level so the children would be close by. "And I wanted their rooms to have neat things," he said. In his boy's room, there's an outdoor theme with stars on the ceiling, star lights and camping knick-knacks. His daughter's room, painted in pinks and greens, has stick-on fairies and her name on the walls. The third level of the house has one big room outfitted with a desk and computer, including two kid-sized chairs that double as recliners. Another corner holds a drawing area and chalk boards where the kids can get creative.
A sun room houses the entertainment center in front of an over-sized chaise lounge big enough Kertscher and his tykes. "This is where we do our night-time reading," he said.
Kertscher furnished the house with new pieces, including the large-screen plasma on the wall of the living area, and what he describes as "strong, male colors."
"They're blues and grays, with some greens and reds, that are strong but still warm," he said.
Most of his attention was devoted to creating a home that was functional for him while also being a comfort zone for his kids.
"It was very important to have a place where they'd want to come," he said. "They love coming to Daddy's house; sometimes they'd rather come here than go to the park. And I've been really happy about that."

Tips for making a house a home fast:
• Instead of ordering furniture, ask about buying a floor sample that you can take home immediately. Not only can you get it right away, you may get a discount.
• Shop for ready-made items, such as curtains, drapes and bedding that can punch up a room in minutes.
• The biggest bang for your makeover buck is color. Select a color scheme that will flow throughout the house and make you feel good every time you enter.
• Make it personal by displaying your favorite items that have good memories.

Wife and teen groom denied custody of child

Wife and teen groom denied custody of child

Details of settlement not made public

By CHANDLER BROWN, KEN SUGIURA

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Published on: 05/05/08

Lisa Clark Gonzalez's bid to gain custody of the baby she had with her teenage boyfriend was settled Tuesday, but details weren't immediately available."They did not get custody, but they are pleased with today's developments," said Jan Young, Lisa Gonzalez' publicist.Attorneys for Gonzalez and Angela Perkins, Gonzalez' one-time friend and co-worker who has custody of the boy, reached a temporary decision on custody prior to a scheduled hearing at the Douglas County Courthouse. The lawyers will continue to negotiate the rights of both sides and the child.Young said the Gonzalezes did not have more comment on the advice of their attorney.

Citing the same instructions, Perkins also declined comment; her attorney, Andrea Molodovan, did not return two phone calls seeking comment."We would appreciate having some privacy for the family," said the attorney, Kim Dymecki, who declined to provide any further details of the agreement, which will be filed with the Superior Court in Douglas County.Tuesday morning, after Dymecki, Moldovan and Christy Draper, an attorney assigned to represent the boy's interests, informed Superior Court Judge Robert J. James of their decision, Dymecki and her clients fled the courthouse with a raft of TV photographers in their wake. Dymecki later described it as a "circus.""We all must remember there is a child at the center of this case," she said.

The case has caught the attention of metro Atlantans since Lisa Clark, then 37, Adrian Gonzalez, then 15 and a friend of her teenage son, got married after she became pregnant. Clark later served time for statutory rape and for helping Gonzalez escape a group home in DeKalb County. She delivered the baby, Skye Cobain Gonzalez, while in jail. After Lisa Conzalez was released from prison in February, she rejoined her husband and they now live with a friend near Gwinnett Place Mall in Duluth. Wife and husband are now 39 and 17, respectively.According to court records, Skye has been living with Perkins, who took care of the child when Gonzalez was in prison. Listing more than 12 reasons in court documents why Lisa and Adrian Gonzalez were unfit parents, Perkins has sought full custody.Dymecki expected an uphill battle. Monday, while saying she hoped for her clients to gain full custody of their son, she said that "at this point, we'll take whatever we can get."

Family Wars: The Alienation of Children

Family Wars: The Alienation of Children

(provided by Dr. Peggie Ward)

Composite case from actual examples
The parents of Amy (age 10) and Kevin (age 7) are divorcing after 13 years of marriage. Their father, by temporary stipulation, has moved from the marital home. He is entitled to visit with the children on alternating weekends and one evening, during the week. Soon, the children begin to refuse to go with him. At first, they do not want to leave Mom; they say that they are afraid to go. When Dad comes to the house, Mom tells him that she\he will "not force the children to go." "Visitation is up to them." and she\he will "not interfere in their decision".

The children refuse to talk with him on the phone. Mom calls him names when he telephones and complains constantly about her financial situation, blaming him, all within hearing of the children.Dad attempts to talk with the children about the situation, then to bribe them with movies, shopping trips, toys. They become more and more sullen with him and resistant to coming. Anything, routine doctor visits, invitations from a friend, a visit to Aunt Beth, serves as an excuse to avoid visits.A court appointed guardian ad litem learns from the children that "Dad is abusive and mean to us. " They do not want to go on visits. However, when asked to give specific examples of how he is abusive, their stories are not convincing, "He yells too loud when we make noise." "He made me climb all the way to the top of a mountain." "He gets mad at me about my homework." "He makes me wear my bike helmet." "He pounds the wall to get us up in the morning and it makes me afraid that he'll hit me." They say that he has never hit them, although they state that they are very afraid that he will. These children are in the process of becoming alienated from their father.An increasing number of children are experiencing the divorce of their parents or litigation over their custody some time during their minority. Some children experience the concerted, albeit often unconscious or unintended, attempt of one parent to alienate them from their other parent. It is the purpose of this article to alert lawyers, judges and parents involved in divorce and custody wars to the serious nature of parental alienation and to provide suggestions for court based intervention.
I. Definitions
II. Harm to The Child
III. Motivation for Alienation
IV. Recognition of Alienating Behaviors

A. The Continuum: Distiquishing between"typical Divorce and "Alienation"
B. Mild
C. Moderate
D. Overt
E. Severe

1. Prevention

A. Education
B. Attorneys
C. Courts
2. Mild Alienation cases
3. Moderate
4. The Parent Evaluation
5. Severe: The Fully Enmeshed Child
6. Conclusion

Information provided by: Dr. Peggie Ward located at http://www.divorcesource.com/NH/DS/ward.html

The perfect client

The perfect client Written by C. Sean Stephens

What a lawyer thinks of as a “perfect client” in the domestic relations sense is a client who helps the process of the dissolution, custody, or support matter along. We know how hard this process is to be going through, but it can be a much more difficult process the longer it drags on — and a much more expensive one for you. (Although we like getting paid as much as anyone else, we believe we should be problem-solvers, not problem-creators.)

Good attorneys will always treat their clients — all of their clients — with the same professionalism and respect they treat any other client. However, by helping us help you, you can make the process smoother, lower your costs, and get a better result! Here are some things you can do to help your attorney in your domestic relations case, to make things run more smoothly.

Tell us everything — the good, the bad, the ugly. We want to know the nastiest things the other side might throw at us, true or not. If you have hidden sources of income, a stake in Anna Nicole Smith’s love nest in the Bahamas, or a rare coin collection, we need to know and plan accordingly.

Provide us with your tax, banking, investment, insurance, titles to cars and whatnot, and any other requested information quickly in the process (if you can bring this stuff to your first meeting, we might very well cry with joy). If you’re not in a place where you can get the information, sign a release that allows the attorney to request the information on your behalf.
Keep in contact with us. We’ll provide you with frequent updates, but there are times when we need to get in contact with you quickly, too.

Similarly, let us know the best way to contact you. If you’re one of those people who hates checking her voicemail but lives on her computer (wait, that would be me when I’m at home), let us know your email address and if that’s a better way to stay in touch.

Understand that a contested divorce may take a while, even if it ultimately settles. We want closure for you as soon as we can get it, too, but not at the expense of a good settlement for you.
If your case involves child custody, parenting time, or support, sign up and follow through with the mandatory education classes as soon as you can.

Remember that your attorney is there to give you expert advice and recommendations, but isn’t going to be able to make the final decision about whether or not you should take a settlement. He can and will tell you if it’s a good idea or a bad idea, and what the benefits and pitfalls of an offer might entail, but the ultimate decision is going to be yours. Also, if you don’t like the way negotiations may be headed, if you change your mind about the way the case is going, or if you’re just generally unhappy about something, please say so. We’d much rather know about it (and fix it) than to find out much, much later that you’d been unhappy for a very long time.

Advice aside, we know that this may be the, or one of the most difficult times of your life. We treat all of our clients as we would hope to be treated under the same circumstances: with diligence to their case, courtesy, the utmost respect, and the highest level of customer service possible.

When She Wants to Leave and Take the Kids

If your partner threatens to leave and take the children, let her know that she can go, but the children are staying. She does not have the right to remove the children from the family home. If she takes the children anyway, you can bring them back. If she leaves and takes the children, you have the right to know where they are. You can ask the court to order her to return the children.Until and unless a court orders otherwise, you have joint legal and physical custody of your children with your spouse under the common law. Anything less than this takes rights away from you.

Many fathers opt for less than joint custody, and in some cases, joint custody may not be in the best interests of the children. But you have the right, if you wish to exercise it, to insist on joint custody from the outset. In cases where the mother is an unfit parent, you can ask the court to award you sole custody.If the mother denies access to the children, you can ask the court to order it. You are entitled to half of the time with your children if you want it. There is nothing in the law that says you are an incompetent parent because you are a father. There is nothing that says the mother can be a better parent than you. The court will tend to keep the status quo, or existing situation, by leaving the children where they are. This is to avoid any more disruption in their lives than the divorce of their parents is already causing. That is why it is important that you set the precedent of equal time from the beginning of your case.

Written by: James J. Goss, a prominent attorney in Maryland

If your wife is threatening to leave and take the children, Contact Edwards & Associates today.

Survival Manual for Men in Divorce

Survival Manual for Men in Divorce

Survival Manual for Men in Divorce (2004 Edition)
PDF E-book

Survival Manual for Men in Divorce (2004 Edition) PDF E-book by Carol Ann Wilson & Edwin Schilling III

> Order Now <>

The Survival Manual for Men in Divorce: 185 Questions and Answers About Your Rights
Topics covered in this book include:
Common Property

Child CustodyAlimony & Debt

Child SupportRetirement Benefits

"Divorce shouldn't be a war zone. Unfortunately, sometimes it is. Survival Manual For Men In Divorce is the first step in neutralizing that zone. A must have for BOTH men and women contemplating divorce."--Judith Briles, Speaker and author of The Confidence Factor and Dollars and Sense of Divorce.

Table of Contents
Sample Chapter
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What you should know as a father:

You have the absolute right to all parenting time ordered by the court.
You are entitled to the visitation ordered by the Court and Georgia law provides a method by which to enforce these rights. If you have been denied visitation, you should contact our attorneys immediately. You must be proactive in protecting your rights. The longer you allow your rights to be violated, the more often she will continue violating your rights. You must exercise your rights and be adamant about protecting the relationship with your children.

You are entitled to pay child support in accordance with the new 2007 child support guidelines.
In many cases, the amount of child support is calculated with inaccurate / outdated information, or relying on the old child support formula, which was devastating to non-custodial parents. The old child support law often led the noncustodial parent to pay more child support than was necessary or required. Georgia law provides a procedure to modify child support. When you apply for child support modification, Georgia law allows you to review the income and assets information of the other parent so that we can determine whether or you are paying the proper amount of support. Not every person is eligible for a modification; speak with one of our attorneys as Edwards & Associates to determine if you are eligible for an adjustment.

You can be awarded custody and you can modify custody and visitation.
Traditionally in Georgia, the mother almost always was awarded custody, absent some serious character deficiency. The father often did not have a prayer of winning custody, even if the children would be better off with him. However, recently the Courts leveling the playing field and will consider the father as the custodial parent, given the right set of facts. Edwards & Associates has obtained custody for hundreds of fathers in various counties throughout Georgia.