Facebook is divorce lawyers' new best friend
Whatever you share online can (and will) be used against you in court
by Leanne Italie
Forgot to de-friend your wife on Facebook while posting vacation shots of your mistress? Her divorce lawyer will be thrilled.
Oversharing on social networks has led to an overabundance of evidence in divorce cases. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81 percent of its members have used or faced evidence plucked from Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other social networking sites, including YouTube and LinkedIn, over the last five years.
"Oh, I've had some fun ones," said Linda Lea Viken, president-elect of the 1,600-member group. "It's very, very common in my new cases."
Facebook is the unrivaled leader for turning virtual reality into real-life divorce drama, Viken said. Sixty-six percent of the lawyers surveyed cited Facebook foibles as the source of online evidence, she said. MySpace followed with 15 percent, followed by Twitter at 5 percent.
About one in five adults uses Facebook for flirting, according to a 2008 report by the Pew Internet and American Life Project. But it's not just kissy pix with the manstress or mistress that show up as evidence. Think of Dad forcing son to de-friend mom, bolstering her alienation of affection claim against him.
"This sort of evidence has gone from nothing to a large percentage of my cases coming in, and it's pretty darn easy," Viken said. "It's like, 'Are you kidding me?'"
Neither Viken, in Rapid City, S.D., nor other divorce attorneys would besmirch the attorney-client privilege by revealing the identities of clients, but they spoke in broad terms about some of the goofs they've encountered:
— Husband goes on Match.com and declares his single, childless status while seeking primary custody of said nonexistent children.
— Husband denies anger management issues but posts on Facebook in his "write something about yourself" section: "If you have the balls to get in my face, I'll kick your ass into submission."
— Father seeks custody of the kids, claiming (among other things) that his ex-wife never attends the events of their young ones. Subpoenaed evidence from the gaming site World of Warcraft tracks her there with her boyfriend at the precise time she was supposed to be out with the children. Mom loves Facebook's Farmville, too, at all the wrong times.
— Mom denies in court that she smokes marijuana but posts partying, pot-smoking photos of herself on Facebook.
The disconnect between real life and online is hardly unique to partners de-coupling in the United States. A DIY divorce site in the United Kingdom, Divorce-Online, reported the word "Facebook" appeared late last year in about one in five of the petitions it was handling. (The company's caseload now amounts to about 7,000.)
Divorce attorneys Ken and Leslie Matthews, a husband and wife team in Denver, Colo., don't see quite as many online gems. They estimated 1 in 10 of their cases involves such evidence, compared to a rare case or no cases at all in each of the last three years. Regardless, it's powerful evidence to plunk down before a judge, they said.
"You're finding information that you just never get in the normal discovery process — ever," Leslie Matthews said. "People are just blabbing things all over Facebook. People don't yet quite connect what they're saying in their divorce cases is completely different from what they're saying on Facebook. It doesn't even occur to them that they'd be found out."
Social networks are also ripe for divorce-related hate and smear campaigns among battling spousal camps, sometimes spawning legal cases of their own.
"It's all pretty good evidence," Viken said. "You can't really fake a page off of Facebook. The judges don't really have any problems letting it in."
The attorneys offer these tips for making sure your out-loud personal life online doesn't wind up in divorce court:
What you say can and will be held against you
If you plan on lying under oath, don't load up social networks with evidence to the contrary.
"We tell our clients when they come in, 'I want to see your Facebook page. I want you to remember that the judge can read that stuff so never write anything you don't want the judge to hear,'" Viken said.
Beware your frenemies
Going through a divorce is about as emotional as it gets for many couples. The desire to talk trash is great, but so is the pull for friends to take sides.
"They think these people can help get them through it," said Marlene Eskind Moses, a family law expert in Nashville, Tenn., and current president of the elite academy of divorce attorneys. "It's the worst possible time to share your feelings online."
A picture may be worth ... big bucks
Grown-ups on a good day should know better than to post boozy, carousing or sexually explicit photos of themselves online, but in the middle of a contentious divorce? Ken Matthews recalls photos of a client's partially naked estranged wife alongside pictures of their kids on Facebook.
"He was hearing bizarre stories from his kids. Guys around the house all the time. Men running in and out. And there were these pictures," Matthews said.
Privacy, privacy, privacy
They're called privacy settings for a reason. Find them. Get to know them. Use them. Keep up when Facebook decides to change them.
Viken tells a familiar story: A client accused her spouse of adultery and he denied it in court. "The guy testified he didn't have a relationship with this woman. They were just friends. The girlfriend hadn't put security on her page and there they were. 'Gee judge, who lied to you?'"
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Mr. Moms become more common
Mr. Moms become more common
By Lauren Russell, CNN
June 20, 2010 7:48 a.m. EDT
Atlanta, Georgia (CNN) -- Atlanta radio personality Jimmy Baron describes the events that left him unemployed as a perfect storm. In 2006, the radio station where he had worked for 13 years was bought and the new owner cut his pay by 60 percent.
He quit and began looking for work. A few offers came in, but not what he was looking for. Then, the nation's economy tanked, and -- for the next three years -- all the offers dried up.
Baron describes that period as horrendous, emasculating, one of the worst of his life.
Finally, late last year, he got the offer he was looking for as a morning DJ at a classic rock station in Atlanta. But on his first day back in the workforce, he realized there was a downside to the new job -- he hadn't been in the house when his son woke up, and he missed his old role of Mr. Mom.
While unemployed, Baron and his wife, who worked from home, had been equal caregivers.
"You get to know a child on a completely different level," he said about the hours he spent each day with 3-year-old Micah.
As women's pay has approached -- and sometimes exceeded -- that of men, Mr. Moms lounging at the playground are becoming more common.
Fathers are the primary caregivers for about a quarter of the nation's 11.2 million preschoolers whose mothers work, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that 8.6 million men were unemployed in May, 34 percent more than the 6.4 million women. The Great Depression was the last time men's unemployment figures were that much higher than those for women, said Stephanie Coontz, the director of research and public education for the Council on Contemporary Families. The Chicago, Illinois-based organization describes itself as a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization dedicated to providing the press and public with the latest research and best-practice findings about American families.
And during the 1930s, when housework was considered women's work by many, even unemployed men tended to be less involved in homemaking and child care, she said.
But early data suggest that men aren't rejecting homemaking at the same rates in this downturn, she said.
And some men are leaving the work force by choice. An estimated 158,000 married fathers with children younger than 15 left the labor force for at least a year to care for their family while their wives went to work, according to a Census Bureau report based on data from last year.
But a father being at home more -- whether by choice or, like Baron, because he has no alternative -- can be a hard thing for the man as well as the outside world to accept. Neighbors wonder when the man will quit babysitting and get a real job, and teachers still address childrearing concerns to the woman, Coontz said. Finally, women tend to have a hard time viewing their husbands as equals and not just assistants in the home, she said.
"It's because we have had, for 150 years, emphasis on men as experts, as breadwinners, and women as experts on nurturing," Coontz said.
During his three years off the job, Baron said, he found it difficult to answer the inevitable question, "So, what do you do?" in social situations. He also found it difficult to get used to being the only man when he and Micah joined his friends at at the pool or park.
During one of those long afternoons, he vowed that he would help other Mr. Moms when he returned to a job. Recently, he launched monthly "Dads between Gigs" get-togethers for care-giving dads and their children.
"Regardless of how dads end up in the situation of being caregiver, whether they choose it or not, it's still kind of a mom's world taking care of kids all day," Baron said. The events are a good way for men to get their needed guy time, he said.
Coontz said that a father becoming more involved with his children is a positive thing for everyone involved.
"Boys are more empathetic, and girls grow up more confident in their ability to tackle nonstereotype fields, like math or science," Coontz said about children with involved dads.
The best family dynamics develop when a wife and husband share the roles of caregiver and breadwinner, Coontz said. Partners who share responsibilities tend to have more stable marriages than do parents who play exclusive roles, she said.
It's healthy for both partners to have a life in and out of the house, and it's good for the children to see that as well, she said.
Coontz said men may want to consider another incentive in deciding whether to lend a hand with the laundry: Women tend to feel more intimate when their partners are involved with childcare and housework.
By Lauren Russell, CNN
June 20, 2010 7:48 a.m. EDT
Atlanta, Georgia (CNN) -- Atlanta radio personality Jimmy Baron describes the events that left him unemployed as a perfect storm. In 2006, the radio station where he had worked for 13 years was bought and the new owner cut his pay by 60 percent.
He quit and began looking for work. A few offers came in, but not what he was looking for. Then, the nation's economy tanked, and -- for the next three years -- all the offers dried up.
Baron describes that period as horrendous, emasculating, one of the worst of his life.
Finally, late last year, he got the offer he was looking for as a morning DJ at a classic rock station in Atlanta. But on his first day back in the workforce, he realized there was a downside to the new job -- he hadn't been in the house when his son woke up, and he missed his old role of Mr. Mom.
While unemployed, Baron and his wife, who worked from home, had been equal caregivers.
"You get to know a child on a completely different level," he said about the hours he spent each day with 3-year-old Micah.
As women's pay has approached -- and sometimes exceeded -- that of men, Mr. Moms lounging at the playground are becoming more common.
Fathers are the primary caregivers for about a quarter of the nation's 11.2 million preschoolers whose mothers work, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that 8.6 million men were unemployed in May, 34 percent more than the 6.4 million women. The Great Depression was the last time men's unemployment figures were that much higher than those for women, said Stephanie Coontz, the director of research and public education for the Council on Contemporary Families. The Chicago, Illinois-based organization describes itself as a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization dedicated to providing the press and public with the latest research and best-practice findings about American families.
And during the 1930s, when housework was considered women's work by many, even unemployed men tended to be less involved in homemaking and child care, she said.
But early data suggest that men aren't rejecting homemaking at the same rates in this downturn, she said.
And some men are leaving the work force by choice. An estimated 158,000 married fathers with children younger than 15 left the labor force for at least a year to care for their family while their wives went to work, according to a Census Bureau report based on data from last year.
But a father being at home more -- whether by choice or, like Baron, because he has no alternative -- can be a hard thing for the man as well as the outside world to accept. Neighbors wonder when the man will quit babysitting and get a real job, and teachers still address childrearing concerns to the woman, Coontz said. Finally, women tend to have a hard time viewing their husbands as equals and not just assistants in the home, she said.
"It's because we have had, for 150 years, emphasis on men as experts, as breadwinners, and women as experts on nurturing," Coontz said.
During his three years off the job, Baron said, he found it difficult to answer the inevitable question, "So, what do you do?" in social situations. He also found it difficult to get used to being the only man when he and Micah joined his friends at at the pool or park.
During one of those long afternoons, he vowed that he would help other Mr. Moms when he returned to a job. Recently, he launched monthly "Dads between Gigs" get-togethers for care-giving dads and their children.
"Regardless of how dads end up in the situation of being caregiver, whether they choose it or not, it's still kind of a mom's world taking care of kids all day," Baron said. The events are a good way for men to get their needed guy time, he said.
Coontz said that a father becoming more involved with his children is a positive thing for everyone involved.
"Boys are more empathetic, and girls grow up more confident in their ability to tackle nonstereotype fields, like math or science," Coontz said about children with involved dads.
The best family dynamics develop when a wife and husband share the roles of caregiver and breadwinner, Coontz said. Partners who share responsibilities tend to have more stable marriages than do parents who play exclusive roles, she said.
It's healthy for both partners to have a life in and out of the house, and it's good for the children to see that as well, she said.
Coontz said men may want to consider another incentive in deciding whether to lend a hand with the laundry: Women tend to feel more intimate when their partners are involved with childcare and housework.
Monday, May 24, 2010
We're Moving! (Not very far)
We are moving to the 12th floor of our same building. Check on our progress here, which will be updated daily.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
10 tips for fathers going through a divorce
#9 – Put the new romance on the back burner
One of the most common things that turns a normal (read: inexpensive) divorce into an contentious (read: expensive) one is bringing another woman into the situation. Your current wife is already pissed off, so why may it worse by throwing your new, yoga-teaching girlfriend in her face? She might get so upset that she keeps you from your children. Is it right? No. Will it happen? You bet.
There is only so much your attorney can do to calm down the situation once you have inflamed it. Your parents are in town, and they would love to see their grandkids, but it’s not your parenting time. How likely is it that your ex will be nice and switch times with you if you brought new girlfriend to pick up the children one week after you separate. Be smart. The best decision is to wait until the divorce is concluded before you engage in a new relationship. Or, at the very least, be discreet.
One of the most common things that turns a normal (read: inexpensive) divorce into an contentious (read: expensive) one is bringing another woman into the situation. Your current wife is already pissed off, so why may it worse by throwing your new, yoga-teaching girlfriend in her face? She might get so upset that she keeps you from your children. Is it right? No. Will it happen? You bet.
There is only so much your attorney can do to calm down the situation once you have inflamed it. Your parents are in town, and they would love to see their grandkids, but it’s not your parenting time. How likely is it that your ex will be nice and switch times with you if you brought new girlfriend to pick up the children one week after you separate. Be smart. The best decision is to wait until the divorce is concluded before you engage in a new relationship. Or, at the very least, be discreet.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
10 tips for fathers going through a divorce
Tip #10. Get a memory
Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. ~From the television show The Wonder Years
I can't tell you how many men who are in my office for divorce consultations who look like a deer caught in headlights when I ask them their date of marriage or their children's birthdates. At the risk of stereotyping, women tend to be much better at knowing this information off the top of their heads. They know their children's birthdays, their social security numbers, teacher's names, principal's name, daycare worker's name, the pediatrician's name...you get the point.
Men, for some reason tend not to know this information. Referring to your son's teacher as "the cute blonde" will not win you any points in court. How do you expect to win primary or joint custody if you do not learn and retain this valuable information? Do you know your child's favorite toy, or did you always let your wife pack the to go bag? Do you know your children's favorite foods or the only way to stop your 2 year old from crying incessantly in the car is to give her Apple Cinnamon Cheerios? An involved dad knows these things.
Keep a journal if you have to of important dates, events and tidbits about your children. This will help you refresh your recollection later if you have to testify in court.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Going Through a Divorce - Everything You Need to Know to Protect Yourself and Your Children
Going Through a Divorce - Everything You Need to Know to Protect Yourself and Your Children
By S Matthews
Going through a divorce is never an incredibly happy time, but there are ways to make it as stress-free as possible - and protect yourself and your interests while you're at it. Even if your divorce is a relatively amicable one, you still want to get the best deal you can, and hopefully protect yourself and your assets now and in future.
Top Ways to Protect Your Finances
Don't forget to change your will. Many couples forget to do this after the divorce. Don't.
When an imminent divorce is inevitable, there are simple ways to protect yourself from the financial fracas that will ensue. Get your finances in order and you'll be on your way to surviving the battle without any deep monetary scars...
* Open an individual checking account. Do this as soon as possible. Not only will it help your credit rating, but will also help you sort out who has what.
* Establish as much credit as possible. Credit is vital when it comes to borrowing money, and credit scores can affect future properties you may rent and even the type of job you get. Make sure you don't suffer any fall-out from your spouse's lousy credit rating, and do as much as possible to establish a solid credit rating of your own. If you've never had a credit card of your own before - and many women haven't, believe it or not - get on the horse as soon as possible.
* Track down credit cards. Make sure your spouse isn't charging things to your name, or on a joint credit card, which could affect your rating. Track down and cancel any joint accounts. This can be difficult if they are not being sent to your home address. You can freeze accounts by telling the credit card companies that you are going through a divorce.
* Take care of the mortgage and other loans. If you will continue living in the house it's important that only your name is on the mortgage, and vice versa. The divorce proceedings will sort out who is paying for what. Transfer the car to one name as well through the Department of Motor Vehicles, and sort out who is paying for what loans.
* Keep track of all investments etc. Go through all you and your spouse own with a fine-toothed comb, and make copies of every single financial document you unearth. This can include mortgage and life insurance documents, 401(k) statements, tax returns, bank statements, money market accounts etc. Also, make sure your name is on every legal document, especially the title or deed of property the two of you bought together.
* See if you qualify for alimony, support and/or maintenance. Support isn't based solely on gender - both men and women can get it. Similarly, you don't need to have kids to receive it. Don't make assumptions, get the facts. Speak to a divorce lawyer as soon as you can.
* Save money. You never know when you will need it, so now is not the time to be a spendthrift. Squirrel away what you can in your individual bank account - it might soon come in handy!
* Consider mediation as opposed to litigation. A lot less time-consuming - and costly. If it works, this is usually the best - and more financially viable way - to come to an agreement for everyone concerned.
* Don't forget to change your will. Many couples forget to do this after the divorce. Don't.
* Hire a financial planner with a specialty in divorce. They can advise you what to do next as far as asset division is concerned based on your current situation.
Top Ways to Protect Your Children
Your children should be top priority when it comes to a divorce, so don't make things worse by acting badly. Children do best when both parents stay involved in their lives, so keep this in mind next time you feel like telling your ex to jump off a tall building or move to the North Pole. Here are other ways to make your kids deal better with your divorce...
* Explain that it's not their fault. Don't let your kids grow up thinking they could have done something to prevent Mommy and Daddy from splitting up. Tell them it has nothing to do with them, and that both of you still love them more than anything.
* Answer their questions as honestly as possible. That doesn't mean telling them that Daddy had 12 affairs and is in love with a woman half his age, and that he enjoys dressing up in high heels and a pink feather boa when they're asleep. What it does mean, however, is being as honest as possible, while not involving them in things they don't really need to know.
* Keep things as amicable as possible in front of them. Airing petty grievances in front of the children and arguing constantly will only backfire in the long run.
* Aim for shared custody arrangements, if possible. Children benefit from being with both parents. Make sure they have two happy, harmonious home environments and try to have both parents as involved in their lives at school as possible. Encourage your child to maintain a close relationship with the other parent, and encourage each other to be as active as possible in your children's lives, without canceling appointments and trying always to be on time.
* Avoid the temptation to quiz your children about what is going on in the other parent's life, and don't use them to carry messages back and forth between you. They don't need the added responsibility, and it's not fair on them to feel they have to take sides or be in control of your relationship with your ex. Also, resist the urge to say bad things about the other parent in front of the kids.
Top Ways to Protect Yourself Personally
When all is said and done, you still have a life to live - on your own. Flying solo can be a liberating experience, once you've got over the shock of the divorce. Make it easier on yourself by following these simple tips...
* Make sure you are employable. If you haven't worked for years, don't panic. Speak to a career counselor or life coach about re-doing your resume. Maybe all you need is to take a few courses or have an internship to get back on top of things. Maybe not: your life experience will count for more than you think!
* Have lots of friends and family around you. Don't suffer things on your own. Seeing a film or visiting an art gallery can take your mind off your problems, if only for a few hours. Ask for support if you need it and try to enjoy the little things in life.
* Seek new friends. Many married couples rely on other married couples for companionship, and often are left high and dry when they venture out on their own. Starting a new hobby can help you develop new interests and meet new people while you're at it.
* Resist the rebound. While having new relationships can be fantastic, don't jump into a full-time romance immediately. Take the time to look around and enjoy yourself. Don't let friends set you up on a date, at least for a while. Being on your own is important - for now.
Going through a divorce is never easy, but there are ways to minimize both the pain and the hassle. If you play your cards right you can make the whole process run as smoothly as possible - and make sure your future is financially secure as well. Take your time and get the help you need, and keep up a positive, optimistic outlook. Good luck!
Sarah Matthews is a writer for Yodle, a business directory and online advertising company. Find a Healer at Yodle Local or more Health & Medicine articles at Yodle Consumer Guide.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=S_Matthews
By S Matthews
Going through a divorce is never an incredibly happy time, but there are ways to make it as stress-free as possible - and protect yourself and your interests while you're at it. Even if your divorce is a relatively amicable one, you still want to get the best deal you can, and hopefully protect yourself and your assets now and in future.
Top Ways to Protect Your Finances
Don't forget to change your will. Many couples forget to do this after the divorce. Don't.
When an imminent divorce is inevitable, there are simple ways to protect yourself from the financial fracas that will ensue. Get your finances in order and you'll be on your way to surviving the battle without any deep monetary scars...
* Open an individual checking account. Do this as soon as possible. Not only will it help your credit rating, but will also help you sort out who has what.
* Establish as much credit as possible. Credit is vital when it comes to borrowing money, and credit scores can affect future properties you may rent and even the type of job you get. Make sure you don't suffer any fall-out from your spouse's lousy credit rating, and do as much as possible to establish a solid credit rating of your own. If you've never had a credit card of your own before - and many women haven't, believe it or not - get on the horse as soon as possible.
* Track down credit cards. Make sure your spouse isn't charging things to your name, or on a joint credit card, which could affect your rating. Track down and cancel any joint accounts. This can be difficult if they are not being sent to your home address. You can freeze accounts by telling the credit card companies that you are going through a divorce.
* Take care of the mortgage and other loans. If you will continue living in the house it's important that only your name is on the mortgage, and vice versa. The divorce proceedings will sort out who is paying for what. Transfer the car to one name as well through the Department of Motor Vehicles, and sort out who is paying for what loans.
* Keep track of all investments etc. Go through all you and your spouse own with a fine-toothed comb, and make copies of every single financial document you unearth. This can include mortgage and life insurance documents, 401(k) statements, tax returns, bank statements, money market accounts etc. Also, make sure your name is on every legal document, especially the title or deed of property the two of you bought together.
* See if you qualify for alimony, support and/or maintenance. Support isn't based solely on gender - both men and women can get it. Similarly, you don't need to have kids to receive it. Don't make assumptions, get the facts. Speak to a divorce lawyer as soon as you can.
* Save money. You never know when you will need it, so now is not the time to be a spendthrift. Squirrel away what you can in your individual bank account - it might soon come in handy!
* Consider mediation as opposed to litigation. A lot less time-consuming - and costly. If it works, this is usually the best - and more financially viable way - to come to an agreement for everyone concerned.
* Don't forget to change your will. Many couples forget to do this after the divorce. Don't.
* Hire a financial planner with a specialty in divorce. They can advise you what to do next as far as asset division is concerned based on your current situation.
Top Ways to Protect Your Children
Your children should be top priority when it comes to a divorce, so don't make things worse by acting badly. Children do best when both parents stay involved in their lives, so keep this in mind next time you feel like telling your ex to jump off a tall building or move to the North Pole. Here are other ways to make your kids deal better with your divorce...
* Explain that it's not their fault. Don't let your kids grow up thinking they could have done something to prevent Mommy and Daddy from splitting up. Tell them it has nothing to do with them, and that both of you still love them more than anything.
* Answer their questions as honestly as possible. That doesn't mean telling them that Daddy had 12 affairs and is in love with a woman half his age, and that he enjoys dressing up in high heels and a pink feather boa when they're asleep. What it does mean, however, is being as honest as possible, while not involving them in things they don't really need to know.
* Keep things as amicable as possible in front of them. Airing petty grievances in front of the children and arguing constantly will only backfire in the long run.
* Aim for shared custody arrangements, if possible. Children benefit from being with both parents. Make sure they have two happy, harmonious home environments and try to have both parents as involved in their lives at school as possible. Encourage your child to maintain a close relationship with the other parent, and encourage each other to be as active as possible in your children's lives, without canceling appointments and trying always to be on time.
* Avoid the temptation to quiz your children about what is going on in the other parent's life, and don't use them to carry messages back and forth between you. They don't need the added responsibility, and it's not fair on them to feel they have to take sides or be in control of your relationship with your ex. Also, resist the urge to say bad things about the other parent in front of the kids.
Top Ways to Protect Yourself Personally
When all is said and done, you still have a life to live - on your own. Flying solo can be a liberating experience, once you've got over the shock of the divorce. Make it easier on yourself by following these simple tips...
* Make sure you are employable. If you haven't worked for years, don't panic. Speak to a career counselor or life coach about re-doing your resume. Maybe all you need is to take a few courses or have an internship to get back on top of things. Maybe not: your life experience will count for more than you think!
* Have lots of friends and family around you. Don't suffer things on your own. Seeing a film or visiting an art gallery can take your mind off your problems, if only for a few hours. Ask for support if you need it and try to enjoy the little things in life.
* Seek new friends. Many married couples rely on other married couples for companionship, and often are left high and dry when they venture out on their own. Starting a new hobby can help you develop new interests and meet new people while you're at it.
* Resist the rebound. While having new relationships can be fantastic, don't jump into a full-time romance immediately. Take the time to look around and enjoy yourself. Don't let friends set you up on a date, at least for a while. Being on your own is important - for now.
Going through a divorce is never easy, but there are ways to minimize both the pain and the hassle. If you play your cards right you can make the whole process run as smoothly as possible - and make sure your future is financially secure as well. Take your time and get the help you need, and keep up a positive, optimistic outlook. Good luck!
Sarah Matthews is a writer for Yodle, a business directory and online advertising company. Find a Healer at Yodle Local or more Health & Medicine articles at Yodle Consumer Guide.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=S_Matthews
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Facebook, MySpace and Twitter Evidence in Custody Battles and Divorce
In this new age of technology, watch what you put on the web. Did you friend your soon-to-be ex wife's aunt and forget about it because she never posts? If so, then you can be guaranteed she will be gleefully printing pictures and posts on your page and handing them to her attorney for evidence against you. Did you playfully suggest on Facebook that you want to "leave the kids at home and get smashed tonight?" Then, be prepared for it to turn up as Exhibit A at your trial.
Edwards & Associates recently won custody for a father at trial. Included as primary exhibits were her Facebook and Myspace pages. Of particular interest were several scantily clad pictures of the young mother of 4, and posting of her announcing that she "goes to the club too much" and that she "was drinking IN THE CAR on the way to the club." She turned bright red and said that was her personal business. The Court did not agree and stripped her of custody and ordered her to pay child support. Here is a great recent article printed in the AJC.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Facebook a treasure trove for divorce lawyers
By Larry Hartstein
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
9:55 a.m. Thursday, February 11, 2010
As if divorce lawyers needed more ammunition.
In a new survey, 81 percent say they've seen an increase in the use of Facebook and other social networking sites for evidence in divorce cases. Notes to lovers, compromising photos -- Facebook provides a wealth of incriminating information.
"Every client I've seen in the last six months had a Facebook page," said Ken Altshuler, a longtime divorce lawyer from Portland, Maine, who is first vice president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. "And the first piece of advice I give them is to terminate their page immediately."
Sixty-six percent of the attorneys surveyed by the AAML called Facebook the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence, followed by MySpace (15 percent) and Twitter (5 percent).
"Going through a divorce always results in heightened levels of personal scrutiny," said Marlene Eskind Moses of Nashville, the group's president. "If you publicly post any contradictions to previously made statements and promises, an estranged spouse will certainly be one of the first people to notice and make use of that evidence."
Altshuler cited a couple cases in which Facebook proved key:
A woman was getting divorced from her alcoholic husband and seeking custody of their kids. The husband told the judge he had found God and hadn't had a drink in months, but Altshuler found a recent Facebook photo showing him "holding a beer in each hand with a joint in his mouth," the lawyer said.
Then there was the custody case in which his client's ex-wife claimed to be engaged. She was trying to show she'd provide a stable household for the kids.
But the same woman had posted on Facebook that she'd broken up with her abusive boyfriend and "if anybody had a rich friend to let her know," Altshuler said.
The ex-husband's friend gave him the posting; he was still Facebook friends with the ex-wife.
"People don't think about who has access to their Facebook page," Altshuler said. "A good attorney can have a field day with this information."
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